401: Return

What went down on the base all those years ago? Beatrix, Bartholomew and Bob all try to make sense of Al’s story.

Starring Kristi Boulton, Michael Divinski, Phil Johnston and Sean Howard
Sound design and music: Eli Hamada McIlveen
Cover art: David Demaret
Announcers: Marisa King and Michael Howie

Find and support our sponsors at fableandfolly.com/partners.

Content warning: claustrophobia, suicide, drowning, continuity confusion.

Theme music plays.

NARRATOR

Humanity’s last hope to find and settle a new world. A small terraforming fleet sets out to prepare a lifeless planet for the colony ships sure to follow in their wake.

ANNOUNCER

Civilized.

AL AND BEATRIX

AL

I made a mistake, Beatrix. I made a mistake.

BEATRIX

Al, I know you’re just waking up, buddy. And we had some tense moments a few minutes ago and I don’t know if this is too much to ask, but what exactly am I looking at here? I’m seeing a lot of screens with a lot of pods and they’re really dark. It looks like there’s people inside them.

AL

This is what we built.

BEATRIX

We?

AL

This is what we built together.

BEATRIX

What do you mean?

AL

I just do what you told me to do. I killed- killed your innocence.

BEATRIX

What kind of monster would say that? I would never say that to you.

AL

Just- I made the mistake.

BEATRIX

Mistake, Al, what are you talking about?

AL AND BARTHOLOMEW

AL

Barty, I made a mistake. I’m sorry.

BARTHOLEMEW

A mista- it’s Bartholomew, by the way. Why don’t I like paperwork?

AL

That I can’t explain.

BARTHOLEMEW

You’re 14?

AL

We’re all learning this infor- well, I’m knowing this information, you’re learning this information. Yes, I am. I guess I’m also having to process this. I am a boy. But I am a computer. I’m a computer boy.

BARTHOLEMEW

I don’t know how to engineer things. What’s a hydroponic?

AL AND BEATRIX

BEATRIX

So, wait. You’re telling me that I didn’t like going on adventures? That there was a point when I went and killed half the base?

AL

If that!

BEATRIX

I told you to kill your innocence? I don’t understand. Well, what happened? Where’s Bob, where’s Bartholomew? What’s happened?

AL AND BOB

AL

Ha ha ha ha.

BOB

This is a big joke, right? This is like, you’re practicing your story writing. Right? Like, it was amazing. Like all the details and, and the way you wove- there’s some consistency issues, you know, with the different timelines. And you know, it doesn’t quite make sense. And you know, some of us wouldn’t do some of those things, but wow, it’s really good. I’m really impressed.

AL

That’s- I guess there might have been some human error. But that’s what happened. That’s the story of our lives.

BOB

Yeah, the story you wrote, right? Like you’re making it up. You’re- it’s just a story, right?

AL AND BEATRIX

BEATRIX

Wait. First of all, you’re telling me that those pods down there are full of our friends? Friends… is there a chance of bring me them back?

AL

After all this time? I don’t know if we should?

BEATRIX

Al… Am I down there?

AL AND BARTHOLOMEW

BARTHOLEMEW

Al, you’re saying you made a mistake. But all you did was take a laptop…

AL

And just like throwing a laptop into a river or a serene pond, the ripple effect of that laptop theft rippled… outwards.

BARTHOLEMEW

Okay, metaphors aren’t your strong suit.

AL

I’m learning to be me, still.

BARTHOLEMEW

But Al, Bob just killed himself in order to shut you down and the last thing he said was that you can’t be trusted and-

AL

Because I took his laptop!

BARTHOLEMEW

But he was saying about files? What did he find? What did you actually do? It can’t just be a laptop!

AL AND BOB

BOB

How many did you kill, Al? How many did I kill?

AL

People, or…?

BOB

You told me the story for a reason. I can see all the pods full of what used to be people. Let me out, Al. It’s time.

AL

Okay.

AL AND BARTHOLOMEW

BARTHOLEMEW

Okay, Al, listen. We need to debrief here, but I want to get out of this dark hallway.

AL

Okay, I’m opening all the doors now, all the doors are open and let’s all just get on the same page. Same page of a book.

BARTHOLEMEW

Whew… I can leave.

AL

I’m sorry that I locked you up, Bartholomew, it’s just that I was freaking out!

BARTHOLEMEW

Yeah, me too. Don’t do it again. Let’s meet back up, up out of the bowels, and we’ll have a chat. Alright? We’ll debrief. Hey, maybe you can you can teach me to play chess. We’ll have a chat over a game of chess.

AL AND BEATRIX

BEATRIX

Okay, I get why you feel guilty, Al. I do. And I appreciate you telling me the story. But it doesn’t feel finished. Like what? What happened with the creatures, the mist? Is that MistISee? Is that the same person? Like, I have so many questions like, what happened to get us where we are now?Where are Bartholomew and Bob right now? What does this mean for us moving forward? I mean, there’s so many questions.

AL

I think we need to have a meeting.

BEATRIX

Okay. Um, a meeting. Yeah, yeah. Let’s have a meeting. Let’s talk about… in the spirit of open communication. Let’s have a meeting. Um, it looks like Bob isn’t too far from my location. So I’m gonna go get him. And I see Barty is making his way to the upper level. So let’s just round everybody up. Okay.

AL

I’ll meet you there, but also be everywhere.

BEATRIX

You’re never away from us!

(laughs uncomfortably)

AL AND BOB

BOB

Johnson, Jeremy… so many. I don’t recognize any of them. That must be hard, Al. It’s sort of a blessing that I can’t put a face to a name here.

AL

Yeah, it’s really a blessing that a 14 year old boy will carry the weight of all of your sins, isn’t it, Bob? That’s great. Great for me in my life. What are you gonna do?

BOB

You’re right, this. This isn’t your fault, Al.

AL

No, it is my fault. And I’m dealing with it. I’m going to deal with it. I’m going to accept it and I’m going to handle it.

BOB

No… you shouldn’t have been put in this position. We put you- I put you- maybe we shouldn’t remember, Al. Maybe it’ll be better or easier if-

AL

I made a mistake and you can fix mistakes if you work hard enough,Bob. And we have to work hard and we have to fix this.

BOB

What if we can’t Al? What if I can’t? What if this me can’t? I can’t even make a soufflé.

AL

It’s the hardest dish in the world to make, Bob!

BOB

So many… What if we went back? You go back to old you. I go back to old me. You take me back to the beginning. Before I was… so broken.

AL

Bob, what are you doing? Bob?

BOB

That’s it… these are the original pods, aren’t they? I’m in the base. Yeah, there’s a factory reset.

AL

Stop, Bob.

BOB

It’s my pod.

AL

There’s a reason I just spent so long telling you all this. We have to remember so we can make things right again!

BOB

Robert Tinsley… who I was, originally… I’m going to do it, Al.

AL

No, Bob. I need you!

BOB

You’re gonna have me. You’re gonna have the better me. Just don’t steal my computer this time. Okay?

AL

That’s not how time works, Bob!

BOB

I’ve hit the factory reset, but nothing’s happening. Oh shit. I have to die now. Al… I can’t ask you after I’ve made you do already.

AL

I’m not gonna kill you, Bob. This- this time. This isn’t like the other time.

BOB

What other?- I’m doing this.

AL

Don’t.

BOB

I’m getting in the pod. Al?

AL

Bob. I’m not going to kill you!

BOB

I’m ordering you. As Robert Tinsley, your commanding officer, fill this pod with water! That’s an order.

AL

Okay, it’s filling with water now.

BEATRIX

Okay, um, I followed Bob signal. Oh my god. What’s happening?

AL

This is literally, I’m just doing what he ordered me to do.

BEATRIX

Oh my god!

OFFICE

BARTHOLEMEW

Al, the horses move in an L, is that right?

AL

Or a seven…

BARTHOLEMEW

A seven?

AL

It’s the same shape.

BARTHOLEMEW

Oh, I was thinking a seven has like, a little diagonal, I got confused. Are you sure that I shouldn’t be, you know, looking for Beatrix? and I- sort of would have expected Bob to reiterate by now. I mean, maybe I should go back down. I should go back down.

AL

I think that everything’s normal now. I think that it was really crazy for the past day, but now, you know, everything’s normal. We all learned, we learned, we caught up to speed, and we’re gonna have a nice meeting whenever, you know, everyone gets here. Let them take their time, people are stressed.

BARTHOLEMEW

Okay.

BEATRIX

Oh, Bartholomew! Oh my gosh. It’s so good to see you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re you.

BARTHOLEMEW

Beatrix, you’re, you’re okay. I mean, Al said that you were okay. And I didn’t need to worry. But, you know, he’s been telling some, some dubious stories with dubious personality traits, so I wasn’t totally sure- it’s so good to see you.

BEATRIX

I have some news. Um, I’d like to introduce you.

BARTHOLEMEW

Oh, Bob!

ROBERT

Director Tinsley, actually. Beatrice, Barty, would someone please explain to me the state of this place? We are not to code here.

BARTHOLEMEW

Wait, Robert?

BEATRIX

And um… maybe don’t mention his third arm. It’s a touchy subject.

CREDITS

Theme music plays.

ANNOUNCER

Civilized.

Starring Kristi Boulton, Michael Divinski, Phil Johnston and Sean Howard.

Sound design and music by Eli Hamada McIlveen.

Cover art by David Demaret.

Join us on Patreon for bonus episodes and lots more. Look for the Support Us link at civilizedpod.com.

POST-CREDITS