Bartholomew and Beatrix keep themselves busy building a shelter, while Bob tries to locate them with the help of his newly discovered power armour.
And remember that the interactive prequel is now available for you to play! Just join our newsletter on our website!
Starring Kristi Boulton, Michael Divinski, Mbula Enobong and Sean Howard
Sound design: Eli McIlveen
Cover art: David Demaret
Announcers: Marisa King and Michael Howie
Find and support our sponsors at fableandfolly.com/partners.
Content warning: heights, gunfire and existential dread.
Full transcript coming soon!
Music sting.
ELI
Hi everyone! It’s Eli here, your sound designer and producer, and I’ve got a couple of announcements before this week’s episode.
You’re about to hear Episode 10 of our first season. After that there’s going to be two more episodes with a very special guest, and that’s going to round out Season One. We’re on hiatus for a few weeks after that, but we’re back over the winter.
In the meantime, we’ve got a really cool Civilized project in the works for mid-October. I can’t tell you what it is yet, but if you sign up for our mailing list you will be the first to hear about it. Head on over to civilizedpod.com and scroll to the bottom of the page to sign up.
The other thing I wanted to tell you is PodTales on October 20. This is a brand-new one-day festival of audio drama and audio fiction taking place in Boston—or Cambridge, to be precise.
Sean and I (Sean, the voice of Bob, of course)—Sean and I are going to be on some of the panels. Sean’s going to be talking about improv and actual-play podcasting and I’m going to be talking about sound design and music. And there’s going to be folks there from a ton of amazing shows. We are so excited to be going. So if you’re on the East Coast, or can get there, we would love to see you and say hi—and you can wish Sean a happy birthday, ’cause October 20th just happens to be his birthday too. Find out all the details about PodTales at podtales.org.
All right! That’s it from me. Let’s see what our crew are up to planetside.
Theme music plays.
NARRATOR
Humanity’s last hope to find and settle a new world. A small terraforming fleet sets out to prepare a lifeless planet for the colony ships sure to follow in their wake.
ANNOUNCER
Civilized.
THE WOODS
Beatrix approaches with a huge armload of sticks.
BEATRIX
Okay, I found sticks! I’ll just drop them right here. It’s just a little pile.
BARTHOLOMEW
Yeah, just a little one. Wow, Beatrix, you got those that fast?
BEATRIX
Well, when I have a lot of energy from nerves, I tend to work very quickly.
(laughs anxiously)
BARTHOLOMEW
Well, okay. I’m here to help. Tell me! What do I do? Do I string them together, or…?
BEATRIX
Well, did you get the mud from the little mud pile I told you to…?
Your hands are very clean.
BARTHOLOMEW
I didn’t want to get them muddy. I was working on the problem.
BEATRIX
Okay, Bartholomew. No. All right, come with me.
She leads him a little distance away.
BEATRIX
All right. Give me your hand, and—into the mud.
BARTHOLOMEW
(noises of protest)
BEATRIX
Don’t complain. Just take a second and squish it between your fingers.
Squishing sounds.
BARTHOLOMEW
(uncomfortable groan)
BEATRIX
Come on, you can do it. Come on. It’s fine. I am here to guide you.
BARTHOLOMEW
It’s—it’s not hygienic. It’s…
BEATRIX
No, but it’s squishy and warm!
I don’t know why it’s warm.
BARTHOLOMEW
It’s a weird consistency, I’m not familiar with it…
BEATRIX
Just massage a little bit.
BARTHOLOMEW
I mean, it’s kind of fun.
BEATRIX
Right? Right?
BARTHOLOMEW
I… I mean, it’s, it’s sort of whimsical.
BEATRIX
Okay! So now grab a pile of it. Just get your hands under there.
BARTHOLOMEW
No, wait, I’m playing with it.
BEATRIX
Bartholomew. C’mon.
BARTHOLOMEW
No, just a moment or two.
BEATRIX
(chuckles)
BARTHOLOMEW
It’s sort of you know… it sort of makes me feel fun.
BEATRIX
Okay. That’s new for you.
All right. So take some… a little pile of it.
BARTHOLOMEW
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
BEATRIX
Lift it in your hands and feel it. It’s squishy.
BARTHOLOMEW
Ooh, I can make a mud ball.
BEATRIX
Yeah!
(serious)
Don’t throw it at me though, please.
Silence.
BARTHOLOMEW
Oh, I could throw it at you.
BEATRIX
Barty, don’t throw the mud at me.
BARTHOLOMEW
It could be fun.
BEATRIX
Barthlomew, don’t. Don’t! Don’t! Put your hand down.
BARTHOLOMEW
Oh!
He throws it with a splat.
BEATRIX
(screams)
IN THE AIR
Wind whistles. Bob is wearing the powered suit he discovered in Episode 109.
BOB
10,000 feet. Systems… uh…
Suit, activate. Suit, power. Uh…
Switch! Switch it on.
He stabs at a button several times. The suit beeps as it begins its startup sequence.
BOB
8000 feet. Come on, suit! Come on, suit! Here we go. Booting, booting, booting… Come on, come on, come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. 7000 feet!
A chime sounds.
SUIT
(mechanical yet soothing)
Activated.
BOB
Oh, suit! You’re here. Begin fall protocol!
SUIT
Fall protocol engaged.
Servos whir. A thump of air as the suit’s engines kick in.
BOB
WHOA!
(whoops in delight)
THAT IS AWESOME!
Whoo! Wow. Oh my god. We’re hovering.
The engines begin to falter, and a warning beep sounds.
SUIT
Landing gear malfunctioning.
BOB
What?
Oh, my god, we’re falling again! Okay! Suit! Suit! Suit! Uh… Emergency protocol override!
SUIT
Override complete.
The suit corrects its trajectory.
BOB
I need to land. Land and not die. Not die.
SUIT
Landing protocol engaged.
More whirring and clicking.
BOB
Okay, here we go. We’re coming in pretty fast, Suit! We’re coming in pretty fast…!
MUD
BEATRIX
(laughing)
Oh my god, we are covered in mud!
Bartholomew, god!
BARTHOLOMEW
(laughing)
I cannot see my hands at all. They’re just mud hands.
BEATRIX
(laughing)
They’re just mud. We are no longer people. We are mud monsters!
BARTHOLOMEW
We are mud thiiings!
They both begin stomping around.
BEATRIX
We are mud thiiings!
(laughs)
Come on.
BARTHOLOMEW
All right.
BEATRIX
Okay. So when you’re trying to build a shelter, you want to make sure that you put enough mud between the sticks with the leaves so that air can’t get through easily.
BARTHOLOMEW
Okay, I’m on mud duty. I can do the mud. I got it.
BEATRIX
All right, give me your hand. We’re just gonna put the mud in between the sticks, and just smooth it out. Smooth it out.
Soft squishing sounds. After a moment, Beatrix and Bartholomew regard their work and sigh in satisfaction.
BEATRIX
Nice work! It’s really smooth.
Okay, then take some leaves and just push them on a little bit.
BARTHOLOMEW
And they just stick!
BEATRIX
They stick!
BARTHOLOMEW
It’s actually working really well.
BEATRIX
Mmm hmm! You’re really good at this.
BARTHOLOMEW
Thanks. It’s, you know, it’s sort of fun to actually do something.
BEATRIX
That’s what I was trying to tell you the other day when we were in my special place. Sometimes it’s nice just to let go.
More squishing noises.
BARTHOLOMEW
You know, you’re right, Beatrix.
I don’t always think about that. I’m always keeping track of everything that everyone’s doing. I don’t always think that actually doing things has value independent of what they achieve.
This is fun.
BEATRIX
You’ve used that word a lot.
BARTHOLOMEW
Well, it’s because I’m having fun!
He lobs more mud at Beatrix.
BEATRIX
(laughing)
Stop throwing mud at me!
COOLDOWN
The suit has landed in the woods. The engines are slowly spinning down and cooling off.
BOB
Suit, run diagnostics.
Bleeping sounds.
SUIT
Diagnostics check: suit at 67%.
BOB
Suit. What do I call you?
SUIT
You may call me Suit.
Or, if you’re feeling frisky, Sweet Cheeks.
(mechanical laughter)
Ha ha ha ha.
Silence.
BOB
Yeah, we’ll stick with Suit.
SUIT
Oh, all right.
BOB
Suit, can you triangulate to coordinates, uh… 37 dot 33 dot 104 and 22—
SUIT
Hold on there sailor. So many coordinates!
Just kidding. Ha ha ha ha.
BOB
Please disengage the humour.
SUIT
Fine. Be that way.
A sad bleep.
SUIT
Humour disengaged.
Triangulating.
BOB
Thank you.
SUIT
Triangulating.
BOB
Okay.
SUIT
Triangulating.
BOB
Right.
SUIT
Triangulating.
BOB
(sighs)
SUIT
Annoying, isn’t it? Ha ha ha ha.
BOB
(strangled noise of frustration)
HOME
BARTHOLOMEW
Wow, this place is really coming along!
BEATRIX
Yeah, who knew we could build a two storey home in such little time?
BARTHOLOMEW
That is impressive, Beatrix.
BEATRIX
Well, I mean… who knew that we’d work well together?
BARTHOLOMEW
Hey, maybe we can start doing a bit of the inside, some interior decorating?
BEATRIX
Oh, yeah! Okay! I mean, it’s not like we’re running out of sticks.
BARTHOLOMEW
No. Maybe like a couple of end tables, and we could make like a wicker chair.
BEATRIX
Ooo, I like that! And then we could make like a big bed and…
(she trails off awkwardly)
Umm… maybe some couches?
Silence.
BARTHOLOMEW
Yeah, we could make a big bed.
BEATRIX
(hastily covering her awkwardness)
And a pod, maybe a pod, like a pretend pod, just to make us feel at home. We should probably make multiple beds, though, right?
(laughs)
That’s a… um.
BARTHOLOMEW
Oh, you were saying just one—that’s why you got all awkward.
BEATRIX
The kitchen would be a good place to also explore! So Bob would feel comfortable at home too. Because there’ll be so many of us in this two-storey home that we’ve made.
(laughs nervously)
BARTHOLOMEW
Okay, well, let’s get to work! Uh, shall we start with the bed?
In the distance, a whirring, stomping sound, growing steadily closer.
BEATRIX
Do you hear that?
Bob powers up his gun.
BOB
(through a speaker on the suit)
Mud people! Don’t move! Creatures… I’ve got you in my sights.
BARTHOLOMEW
Creatures?
BOB
Put the sticks down. Slowly.
BEATRIX
What the hell is that?
Bob fires with a resounding boom. Beatrix screams.
BOB
The next shot won’t miss.
BEATRIX
Oh, my god!
BARTHOLOMEW
He thinks we’re Creatures—you know, those tree things we encountered on that picnic? Oh, you probably don’t remember…
BEATRIX
What?
BARTHOLOMEW
Hello! We… we mean you no harm!
BOB
Then put the sticks down.
BEATRIX
(whispers urgently)
Drop the sticks. Drop the sticks!
BARTHOLOMEW
Right. Sticks are down.
Bob turns with a whir.
BOB
Wait, what is that on your…? What did you do to Beatrix?! You’re wearing her shoes!
BEATRIX
What, no, I am Beatrix.
Bob powers up his gun again.
BOB
Don’t move. You ate Beatrix.
BEATRIX
What? No!
BARTHOLOMEW
How do you know who Beatrix is?
Pause.
BOB
Wait a minute…
Is that Barty?
He powers down.
BARTHOLOMEW
I prefer Bartholomew.
How do you know…
BOB
It’s Bob.
Bob’s helmet retracts.
BEATRIX
Bob!
BARTHOLOMEW
Bob?
BEATRIX
(frantic)
Bob! Oh my god! Bob!
Bob takes a step or two back as Beatrix runs at him.
BOB
No, what are you doing?
BEATRIX
Bob! It’s me! Put the gun—
BOB
Show me.
BEATRIX
Okay. Let me just rub my face a little bit. Um, you can see, right?
BOB
Oh my god, Beatrix!
BEATRIX
Bob!
She throws her arms around him.
BEATRIX
Okay, no, I can’t hug you in the power armor. Sorry.
BEATRIX
I can hug the power armor though!
It’s kind of cold and… not giving, but it’s fine.
Oh my god. It’s so good to see you!
BOB
Yeah.
BEATRIX
Where’s Ship?
BOB
Ship has left.
Silence.
BARTHOLOMEW
Bob, how did you get here?
BOB
It’s a long story. Maybe I should get out of this armour.
BEATRIX
Yes, get out of the suit! Get out of the suit. I want to see you!
The suit opens and Bob steps out.
BOB
Why are you guys all covered in mud?
BEATRIX
Oh, um, we built a house.
BARTHOLOMEW
It needed mud.
BOB
You built that?
BARTHOLOMEW
Yeah. I helped!
BEATRIX
He did!
Silence.
BOB
Who are you?
BEATRIX
No, no, Bob. Bob! Calm down. It’s Bartholomew.
BOB
Bartholomew doesn’t do things.
BARTHOLOMEW
I… I was expanding my horizons. I was having… fun.
BEATRIX
Fun!
(laughs)
BOB
Okay.
BARTHOLOMEW
I even let Beatrix call me Barty a couple of times!
BEATRIX
He did!
BOB
Okay. I guess it’s normal you would be changed. So much has happened.
BEATRIX
Bob, why are you talking that way?
BARTHOLOMEW
Yeah.
BOB
What do you mean?
BARTHOLOMEW
You just seem very put together and business-like and…
BEATRIX
You’re wearing a suit.
BOB
Yeah. It doesn’t quite fit, you’ll notice, right here but… I had to make do.
BARTHOLOMEW
Is that one of mine?
BOB
Yeah.
I may have had to blow the doors on your quarters.
BARTHOLOMEW
What?!
BEATRIX
Oh my god, that’s how he got the communicator!
BOB
Yeah.
BEATRIX
That’s weird, it looks different from mine.
BOB
At some point, Bartholomew, I’d like to talk about what’s behind that door… at the back of your quarters.
BEATRIX
What?
BOB
Nothing, Beatrix.
BARTHOLOMEW
At a different time.
BOB
Yeah. The house looks safe.
BEATRIX
It is. I mean, we don’t have any furniture yet. But come on in!
BOB
Great. Why don’t you show me around?
BEATRIX
Yeah, okay! I guess a lot has happened.
They enter the house.
BARTHOLOMEW
This—we were thinking like a living room area.
BEATRIX
Yeah. Wouldn’t that be nice?
BOB
Okay, I think we could do some better defences on the windows. I mean, it’s lovely. I think it’s amazing.
BEATRIX
Defences?
BARTHOLOMEW
Defences?
BOB
Guys. Ship is gone. Like, Ship was heading towards orbit.
I didn’t realize. I didn’t have time to read all the emergency protocol manual. I do have a copy here. I shoved it in my suit.
I’m afraid that I was trapped in Ship, something was wrong and… I chose to blow the doors and Ship may have reacted as if it was under attack, I guess? And it initiated protocol B79.
BARTHOLOMEW
When Captain’s under control of the Ship it can’t enter orbit. B79 can’t be engaged.
BOB
I couldn’t reach Captain. I came up in my pod. And Captain I think was talking to you. And then… something happened.
BARTHOLOMEW
So Ship is gone gone.
BEATRIX
What do you mean?
BARTHOLOMEW
Gone. Oh. Okay. Okay. We need shelter. Beatrix, this isn’t fun anymore.
BEATRIX
What are you talking about?
BOB
I’m sorry, Beatrix. I had to make a call when ship was leaving orbit.
BEATRIX
What does this mean?
BOB
I chose to not stay with Ship and come down and get you two… but all I have is one power suit, and—
BEATRIX
What even is this power suit? Like, why do you have guns? Where did all this come from?
BOB
I don’t understand the question. It’s part of my role.
BEATRIX
Who—what is going on with you?
BOB
Part of my role is ancillary services.
BEATRIX
Bob…
BARTHOLOMEW
She was right, it worked.
BEATRIX
What?
BOB
Look I can help keep you safe. I crammed as much ammo as I could into the compartment on the power armour. I have two power rifles and two handguns.
BEATRIX
(softly)
We don’t use guns… we don’t… We’re here on a peaceful mission.
BOB
Beatrix, we’ve been attacked before.
BARTHOLOMEW
And now we don’t have a ship to go back to.
BOB
Beatrix if you die… that might be it.
BARTHOLOMEW
Would making a pod out of sticks in the corner make you feel better?
CREDITS
Theme music plays.
ANNOUNCER
Civilized.
Starring Kristi Boulton, Michael Divinski, Mbula Enobong and Sean Howard.
Sound design and music by Eli McIlveen.
Cover art by David Demaret.
Join us on Patreon for bonus episodes and lots more. Look for the Support Us link at civilizedpod.com.
TAG: LOG ENTRY
BARTHOLOMEW
Log entry 2684:
OMGOMGWTFOMG. What has happened?
Bob found my suit room. His new iteration is the success that Captain was hoping it would be.
And Captain has gone, Ship is gone. We don’t know whether Ship is coming back. If we die… that might be it.
I might have to tell them.
Music sting.
ANNOUNCER
A Fable and Folly Production.